March 17, Monday, AD 2003 Saint Patrick's Day

I have been so tired all week and had so many Narcotleptic Episodes. I have checked out things and it looks like the airplane is just plain “out of the question” and the bus ride would be altogether to difficult as I have arthritic troubles sitting to long. I checked saturday night and the train is about $275 round trip and I need to get the money by March 18th to hold that rate. I think that is what I will need to do. If the doctor will not let me go there is only a $30 cancellation fee. That leaves the $250 convention fee. I plan on leaveing about a day or so early, maybe Friday night so I can get back in time for my classes. It is a three day ride, almost 4 in both directions. But, as I said, I can not physically chance the airl travel.

I hope to help in getting some things out of the rectory. So sad having Peter leave. He said in church yesterday that he had relatives that were ill in Oregon and he is going to be with them. I hope he can secure employment there also.

I will start a new page soon, this might be the last entry on this page.

March 10, Monday, AD 2003 Orthodox lent begins today

I have been so tired all weekend long I rested and could only get to doing a bit of study Sunday and this morning. I am quite scared as i don't seem to be able to do much of anything I want to do. Did I tell your our Rector, Peter Fritch resigned and his last sunday is next Sunday? I have had one “bomb” after another.

March 5, Wednesday, AD 2003 To Tired for much of anything.

Is it psychsomatic or whaty? I am so tied today. I got home and then went to bed and just barely got up to go to the Cathedral for Ash Wednesday services. I missed the lodge meeting, could just barely get back to bed. I am so worne out, the arms tingle and I just can't lift or carrr things or walk fast. I hate being so washed up.

March 4th, Tuesday, AD 2003 Surprise-and a “Life Change”

I went to the doctor today, concerned about a sore on my head and that trouble thinking that I has spoken about before (Feb 27). She found no problems with the sore but was concerend about some of my answers to questions. An electro cardiogram was ordered and they will soon tell me of other tests. They think I had a heart-attack. Yesterday the Advisors for my Phi Theta Kappa chapter talked to me after our meeting and noted that they had not received notice that I had wanted to go to the Internatioanal Convention and hence I was NOT included in the grant money and would have to find funding by myself, or just not go and get the report from those chapter members that they are sending. Two shockes in one day. I was at the lodge meeting (Sprinfield # 235, IOOF) monday night and got the information and signatures so I can jooin Amity Lodge # 172 as an associate member.

March 3 , Monday, AD 2003     This link goes to a visual overview of the college   On the right hand side is text about this trip and also some pictures of maine and a few of the officers that were elected. More, I assume, will be soon at our Phi Theta Kappa New England website soon.

Regional Convention in Maine ! Well, I got to the bus station just in time, the local bus just never came along so I walked. I got to Boston by 3:55pm and then caught the bus to Portland Maine at 4pm, with many an interesting conversation to Boston with a lady that looks like someone I have seen, whether in peson onr on TV escapes me. The bus arrived in Potland Maine at about 6pm and I started the walk up to find State Street. I checkd at a church and was told of the Prebble Street Resource Center and there I was directed to the Oxford Street Shelter. The man said I could have a bed and I could check back in at 10pm, it would be ok. So after securing lodging I went up to main street and since it was so late I caught a taxi to the college som 4 miles away, it cost $10.50 for that distance. A wonderful program awaited us and a dynamic professor that was called in at the last moment to speak about nutrition. She was great, I would love to see her again. Maybe she should "go on the road" as she was so good. After a fun event involving "junk food" we all left for our lodgings and I was blessed to be able to take the left-over sandwiches to the shelter. The chapter advisor brought me and picked me up the next morning. The morning and afternoon sessions were great and our executive direcctor, Rod A. Risley, was present and gaver really insightful observations. Our Division 1 Vice President, Shannon Mathis, came up from North Carolian where she is a student at South Piedmont Community Cellege 9and the prettiest of all the Diviosn Officers) in my mind. We had great workshops, so much to do and the great noon meal was served in a dining hall that faced the ocean. There is a fine history to Southern Main Technical College and the buildings are so peaceful (at least on a Saturday) - The election of officers were held and now we have the officeres who sent in thier Profiles as well as a few others. The region is served by over 8 people now and great things are planned. I rode home with some folks from Asnuntuck Community College in Enfield, CT. I can't seem to get their link to work but the people are nice and Mike Rood was the regional advisor of the New England Region for some 10 years or more and he is from that college. The ladies and I went shopping at stores and I learned about the moehair books that artists used to write their sketches in in europe and the us in the 1800's. We ate and then came back. Just as with the trip to New Jersey, it was icy when I was dropped off.                Maine Lighthous Marlene, Charlie and Diane, three of our new officers. The Ocean was at the college dining hall.

February 28, Friday, AD 2003 Surprise-Fear-I just do not know what happened

Last night I had a strange thing happen. I went to the church for a Photo Directory shoot and thought I might have picked up some sort of “bug” from others getting their pictures taken. Pastor Peter Fritsch’s wife was there taking the names and such and she seemed so tired and worn. She was pleasent and all, but I thought something was weighing heavily upon her heart. The vestry meeting was last week and maybe some of the folks that have been complaining about her husband might have said something then. I did not know, all I know is she is a really nice lady and has thrown herself into helping in any way she can in the life of the church. I came home and went to bed. At about 11pm or 1am, I am not able to say well what the time was, but I could see at least one '1' on the digital clock acros the room. I COULD NOT GET MY BRAIN TO WORK TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET OUT OF BED !!!! It seemed like a hour, but I don't know how long it was. It was accompanied by a sensation that a “curtain” was comming down and I had no control over it. When I was able to get out of bed I emailed two people at two diffrent times. I could only function enough to get a short one or two sentence e-mail out, then back to bed again.

I did not go to school, but stayed in bed until about 11am. I called the clinic and got an appointment for Tuesday, March 4th, as I was concerned this lack of thinking had something to do with cancer again. With folks dying of cancer on both sides of the family, including my Uncle Harold that I took care of, well I just am concerned. Uncle Harold had a small bit taken off his nose, that was a begnign growth. After he fell from a ladder they found out that a massive cancer had been in his brain. I took care of him for a few months until he died. I am so afraid of that happening to me. However by noon I felt better and so I am going to get the bus to Portland Maine to the Phi Theta Kappa Regional Conference. I must leave shortly.

February 17, Monday, AD 2003 President's Day

I did not go to President's Day sales, we had a storm, and I did not go out. Did I tell you that after a Lodge meeting we went to check on Wesley Carr as he had been taking a medicine that seemed to interfer with his ability to function and Steve Wine and I were concerned about him. It turned out that Wes had gotten MARRIED that day. I pray he will be blessed, but I doubt if I would get involved with a lady that quickly.

Anther bit of news. I was asked to be the flag bearer representing Massachusetts at the Phi Theta Kappa Internatioanl Convention in Anaheim California April 3rd. I said yes, as I understand my college is putting in a grant appllication to pay for plan fairs and lodging. Regional might help to pay for my hotel room that night. I am so honored, and so surprised.

February 10, Monday, AD 2003 Surprise

I wanted to talk a little more about the Honors Study day and the people saying I should run for Phi Theta Kappa Regional Officer's position.
But what I will say instead is that I have really liked the people I have found in regional events. Whether it be church, lodge, grange, ptk, or any other grouping. It seems that the people interested in the advancement of the that group are involved in regional events. It is these people that seem to be able to find time for activites and events, and still have a good life. I like the affililations with such people.

February 05, Wednesday, AD 2003 Chrisitan Fellowship 1st Meeting.

Before I get to this topic I wasnt to talk about Monday night. I expected Wesley Carr to come and pick me up at the Bookstore at college to go tot the Lodge meeting (Springfield # 235, IOOF) but he did not show up. So I left at 7:30pm and got a but up to the lodge. I had to "work" my way in and was happy to see Brothre Steve Wine there, we had taken the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Degrees together at the Degree Rally Day mentioned before.
Well Wesely did not show up and we had been concerned as he had been taking a medicine that seemed to interfer with his judgement and also had him passing out a great deal. Well, after the lodge meeting we (Steve and I) went over to where Wesley lived. It was pretty dark, only the lights on that he leaves on when away. So I knocked on the door and Steve said to bang harder, so I did. Someone tapped on the window upstairs and then came down. It was Wes, lookng a bit thin and worn out and he was irritatted that we had knocked so loudly. We asked how he was and thoght he was to go for tests that day. He said rather indignatly that the tests wrere the next day. We had both tried to call and e-mail him and we asked him what he was doing - not replying to us as we had been worrried. He said he had been busy “getting married” and at that I turned and went back to the vehicle. I don't know if he had known the lady more than a month or so and since I considere marriage a “forever” thing I just had nothing to say. Later Wes called me Wednesday and it looks like she might be “good” for him.

A single lady that was new showed up at the Christian Fellowhsip 1st meeting this semester. Oh what an annointed time.
We read the first verse of Psalm 23 and discussed what it meant to us. We even translated in into something like VB Psuedo Script, somethign like this : If you have God as your Lord and your Shepherd, then you will NOT have to want for anything.
The next meeting I will try and remember to bring my Strongs Exhausitve Concordinance and we can see what the word meant to folks when it was first written. Again, this was a truely blessed time. After she had to leave early to take a friend home I went to the Community Forum and then to discuss today's blessed meeting with our advisor for the STCC Christian Fellowship, Professor John Godfrey..

February 2 , Sunday, AD 2003

After the weekend of Reading in New Jersey! Well, I was picked up at 4pm by Diane Hutchins and then we, with another member traveled to Paramis New Jersey. We stayed at the Ramada Inn and left early the next moring for the Technical Building at the Bergen C.College where we read and judged many, many, many pieces of paper until late in the afternoon. Oh to I appreciate a professor’s job when correcting what essentially is a subjective piece. We ate and discussed things. The first picture (l to r) you see is that of the advisors. The second is of some of us reading and scoring submissions and the picture on the far right is of our discussions before we left. They invited us to a meal, but we left as some of us would not get home until around 12 midnight. When Diane dropped me off it was slippery and I was so glad sto see that she got in safe. Just “click”on an image below to see it a little bit bigger. Oh was I tired. I did not get up most of Sunday.                      Advisors Reading and Judging Closing up

January 26, Sunday, AD 2003 Church.

I got to my first churc service in 2 weeks, thanks to Wesley Carr. Do pray for Wes, the heat and blood pressure medicines don't seem to be doing right by him. We cooked a meal, but I am concerned about Wesley and ask everyone to pray for him. If he is feeling better Monday we might go to visit Amherst Lodge, IOOF.
I tired to go to visit a lady at college and pay some more on my colleg bill but she was not there, maybe monday. I have borrowed a book to read some of and will need to buy the text for my courses. Today I could not find my glasses. I just do not know whee they are. I was so "out of it" in returning at midnight, even with Mark giving me a ride home from the TV station last night. Maybe I did not put them where I usually do, and then maybe I left them at the TV station. I was so tired when I got home. It is snowing and probably a cold night

January 20, Monday, AD 2003 Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday celebrated today.

I could not sleep well, nightmares, and then could not sleep. So I am writing this and will probably sleep in the daytime. I do hope I get better today as I really feel awful. Still blood with the stuff I cough up or blow out. Blessings to all. Thanks for your prayers.
I Could not get to the Annual Meetings of St. George’s in Lee MA, St. David's in Agawam MA or Christ Church Cathedral in Springfield MA.
As I said before, the second weekend I did not get to church, no fun being sick on a weekend. I hope to be well enough to attend a “School of Instruction” at Springfield Lodge # 235, IOOF, tonight. We will see by afternoon how well I am.

I got a note that the rent that I thought I was only 84 dollars behind on is actually owed $344.44!!!!! Also the phone for about $177 and electricity at the family home for aobut $77 so how can I possibly do any college classes??? I will probably have to withdraw from everything. The 962 hours (Maximum) that I am allowed to work at the college is fast approaching. So I will need to find some other type of work within a month.

Anybody that wants to can go to this link and view my resume. If you would like a word version so you can send my resume to anyone, then that can be downloaded from that page at the bottom, or via this link, which is < https://cknight12.tripod.com/resume3/cek_resume3_ww2k.doc >.I am willing to move if I must, but would like to first find a job in Springfield, MA. Thanks. Dizzy again, so I am going back to bed. It is about 7am now.

January 19, Sunday, AD 2003 Sick All Over AGAIN !!!

I got up this morning, with heavy mucous and blood when I blew my nose, a pasty stuff in my mouth and realizing that 11 hours of the trip to the eastern part of the state, all 3 Degrees and such had taken its toll. Members of Steve's Lodge had backed out on taking him to the Degree Day and Wess called Ray and got permission to get Steve there. I am so glad we went. But I guess the doctor is right. I will probably not get to church today and tomorrow I will be in bed ALL DAY. I still think I have sinusitis or something as this blood when I blow my nose does not seem right. Steve will join Wes and I at our Lodge meeting and a “School of Instruction” about these degrees.
My church, Saint David’s Episcopal Church, has its annual meeting today and I was supposed to serve as Lay Eucharistic Minister at the 8am service. I called at 7:30am and left a message saying I would not be able to come, I sound awful. I am now beginning to wonder if the doctor was right and if maybe I have something else in addition to the viral laryngitis.

January 17, Friday, AD 2003 Sick AGAIN !!!

My throat got a bit sore Wednesday and I seemed to be wanting to blow my nose a lot. I took cold tablets upon getting home and such. On Monday Wesley and I had gone to Springfield Lodge #235 to have some instruction before our Degrees Saturday. Then VIMUG was Tuesday. Wednesday night Shawn invited me to go with him to a Center for Business and Technology informational session on the Certified Internet Webmaster courses and certification exams which Mary Breeder and Jim Bean put on. I really enjoyed that and was so glad Shawn had asked me to come (he was already registered and they were able to fit me in for the session at the last moment.) Shawn invited me to dinner and I declined as I wanted to lay down.
But as soon as I got in and my outer clothes off and checked the telephone messages I had an invite to Amity Lodge # 172’s officer installation so I hurried on over to the Lodge. I stopped by and talked with Stephen Wine at Open Pantry, who was being installed that night. He had other things to do for work so I did not ask a ride from him. Somehow I got over there in about half an hour. Many of the folks from Springfield #235 were in the installing suite and I just kept MUM about my being a member. Amity introduced me as a Prospective Member, and I will get a letter off to them asking about Associate Membership later. Amity is using a method that was used about 60 years ago or more and it has people wait up to a year before being brought into the order and then about 26 weeks between degrees. I have been on installing suites in the Grange and wanted to see how the Lodge would do it. I went with Wesley to his mother’s memorial night at St. Catherine of Sienna church and then a Phi Theta Kappa event the night that the Agawam Encampment was installed. So since I missed that installation I jumped at the opportunity to go to this one. This might have been my undoing. It was a very beautiful installation, even as performed in a more relaxed atmosphere. January 15th was Tom Wildey’s birthday and he is credited as being the founder of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows in the United Sates.
Steve Wine brought me home and then he had to bring someone else to various places before he could get home. At about 1am Wednesday night I was having troubles. By morning I could hardly talk. I had an appointment for the flue shot at the Mason Square Neighborhood Clinic and so I left work for that 3pm appointment--by that time I could hardly talk. I was told that the doctor could not see me. They gave me the flue shot, as sick as I was, and sent me over to the “walk-in” section. I waited there a few hours and was seen. A Vaporizer was ordered, a note written and I was told NOT to go to work. I went home and got the vaporizer going and called Marilynn at work and said I would not be in Friday. I am writing this Friday afternoon, I have been in bed all day. I WILL go to the Degrees for Odd Fellowship on Saturday. I should be washing clothes, but if I have one good shirt I will use that and just go as I am. The Doctor reluctantly allowed me to go Saturday, but the trade off is that I can not be out and about Sunday and Monday (Martin Luther King day celebrated) and must stay in bed and drink fluids. Speaking of that I will stop writing and drink and sleep some more. I probably will not update this until Monday night, the 20th.
One of the heaviest days at the bookstore will be Tuesday, the 21st as it is the day before college starts and the Pell Grant financial aid moneys can not be used until that day. I just pray I will be well enough. I had to back out of being the Lay Eucharistic Minister at the 8am service for Sunday (our Annual Meeting day) as I probably will not have my voice back and I do not want to scare people thinking I would be giving them a sickness, even if I can not pass it on at that time. Good night!

January 14, Tuesday, AD 2003 VIMUG

Well tonight was the meeting of the Valley Interface Macintosh Users Group. I wanted to go home but felt, as President, that I should attend. Shawn Dupee (The current President of the STCC Computer Club) came along with me and stayed with me. I was going to sleep every now and then he said. We were having some cookies and ready to call it a night at 6:21pm when in came a person that had just heard about us. We were there for a very productive hour and left with the assurances that the new person would help make the Users Group more viable. We are exploring the efficacy of establishing OS X.2 (Jaguar) on a G-3 computer, as opposed to buying a new G-4. He was interested in that topic also.
One of our faithful members had gone to the bookstore to talk with me that day and as we were closing down he said he might not be at the meeting, so it was really nice when the other fellow (Rick) showed up. But Bob had information that Rick wanted. The other person to report was Hal and he found himself scheduled to be 3 places at once. It was so bitter cold that night I did not blame anyone for staying home.
After the meeting I walked Shawn to the Bus stop and when no bus came I walked him to the Bus Station and we made certain he could get a bus back to West Springfield. I took a bus back and maybe I should not have. I think I picked up something again from the other bus riders.

January 12, Sunday, AD 2003 Sick

About the last hour of work on Friday a lady came in that was ill. Sure enough both the head cashier ( I found out later) and I got what she had. I felt ill Friday night and went back to my place instead of going with Wesley Carr to his home for the last bit of that Chowder. The next day I had a sore throat to beat all. I did not even go to the Cathedral for Church. I was in bed all of Saturday, Sunday, and did not get to work Monday, but was in bed then also. I write this after Monday as the sickness sort of broke Monday at about 3pm and I felt much better.

January 6, Monday, AD 2003 Epiphany and Odd Fellowship

I got back to work, about an hour early, and after a heavy day at work at the college bookstore I went home to rest. Wesley Carr came by for me at about 6:15pm and we went to Springfield Lodge # 235 of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows. We had a meal of Clam Chowder, some of the best I have ever eaten, and then received our Initiatory Degree in that Order. Now Wesley and I are members of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows. We joined this Lodge because the other Lodge (Amity # 172, formed in 1875) did not act upon our applications for membership or give much of any response to us that sounded like they wanted us to join. I still want to be an Associate Member of Amity 172 as I want to help honor the past of those that had worked in that lodge. They have few members and Wes and I would really like to help. It was so good for me to receive my initiatory degree on Epiphany. The Degree was really nicely done, by the members of Springfield Lodge # 235 and at least 3 other lodges. I went home having had a full night and very happy about the events of the last few days.

January 5, Sunday, AD 2003 Church and Charity

We got up to St. George’s Episcopal Church for a prayer meeting before church, then I helped Andy shovel a little bit and we came in for worship service. After that we went to the Parish Hall instead of the Rectory as the Rector had a guest there that had a cold. Later on the rector, Noel Bailey, got that same cold and had it for over a week. We left after the “coffee hour” and then went to Lenox and worked for 6 hours (the two of us straight) cleaning Betty's Apartment. In about a week I will notify the Property Manager that we were in.
We missed the caroling on the front porch of the Red Lion Inn in Stockbridge (done on the eve of Epiphany by St. Paul’s Episcopal Church) but did get back to St. George’s for the Spanish Missa (at least the tail end of it) and were asked to participate in their Three Kings day meal.
Three Kings Day is on Epiphany and it is the major Spanish feast of the Christmastide. So if you go to the St. George’s site and click on activities you can go to the three kings day images that the Rector took with her new digital camera. She leaves January 17th for South America for a bit where she will learn more about leading a Spanish speaking congregation and so there will be images and comments back from her on that site. We then went back to bring the keys to Betty Wilber and saw at least 9 deer cross the road at once. I was so glad to get back and go to bed. Before that we made a way so Alice could use her front door as egress should she want to as the back door overhang was getting all ice and the area by the back doorsill very slippery.

January 4, Saturday, AD 2003 Snow, Snow, Snow

Last night my friend Alice, who is 71, shoveled at least 3 times. This morning I got her involved in the computer until about noontime when the snow stopped. We probably had about 16 inches of snow that fell. Soooo before I could get the computer all shut down and my boots on she was out shoveling again. I got out there and was about to say to her, lets shovel only to a certain distance, then go in and rest and come back out in an hour to do that same distance again. That way I feel we could get the shoveling done but no one would have a "heart attack". Well it was such a blessing what happened next. We heard a noise and I dismissed it as just a truck going by, but Alice looked and there was Andy from St. George’s Episcopal Church with his neighbor. They were using a truck he uses for work and had brought both of their snow blowers down. In 15 min. they had the North Drive done and in another 10-15 they had the South Drive done. They left, we cleaned out some little area next to the mailbox and went inside for a moment.

We thought it over and agreed to go over to my family homestead and at least shovel a pathway in. We did that and an area around the mail-box there and then started back. We thought of the work we wanted to do getting Betty Wilber's apartment ready for her to go back into, so we went to town, saw Betty, and got the keys to the apartment. Then it was back for some supper and sleep.

January 3, Friday, AD 2003 Back to Work

As I told folks at Work, I am so glad to be back. I went to see about additional jobs and come back more disgusted than ever with patronage systems. The new Governor said he would not be handing our patronage jobs, and I hope he will maintain that pledge. I just saw a lot of people wanting such jobs. I talked with a woman I had met before, but I could not remember where, only that I had enjoyed talking with her. That really bothered me, that I could not remember her at all. She might have been part of a news agency from back in the western part of the state. I left after work and got a ride up to the Berkshires. It was snowing so badly that I could hardly see. I went to Price Chopper up there and got some cookies and hitched out to Monterey where I came to Alice Davis’s home where I stayed.

December 25, Wednesday, AD 2002     Christmas Dinner I have tried to serve at the Open Pantry “Holiday Meals” often and after Christmas Day Mass at Christ Church Cathedral I arrive at the civic center at 10am. Most of what I do is to guide the volunteers that help serve the meals to people and help a little with clean-up. I probably am not needed there and soon I will not be doing this. I was greatly impressed by the Junior Marines from Westover that came to help. An image of them is found to the right as they head the serving line. I got back and went to bed by 4:30pm.

December 24, Tuesday, AD 2002     Chrismas Eve. When I went up to the Berkshires and got things for the tree we put up at Alice’s home, I also got an artifical tree with lights and brought it down with me to work. I got to work at 7am, so I had some time to put it up. After work I went to the bank to deposit the check from my employment, 6 times that amount is alread spent and I do not have the money to pay for any more than 200 dollars worth of rent and bills. Yes, I did go down to the Rescue Mission to see about a Christmas Mean. But as I watched the people there I realized I was not welcome by the other participants in this event. The Rescue Mission would welcome me with open arms, but not the others. I had thought of caroling for them, but felt the animosity that would be there if I did so. Hence I left, went to get my glasses fixed, but the optician was closed. I got home to the apartment and wondered if I was to serve at church. So I caught a bus over to St. David’s for Christmas Eve services including where the cretch (that you see to the left) had been placed at the alter. The view from the music ministry’s side of the nave is really nice. I got a ride back and tried to go to South Congregational Church, but thier service had just completed (it used to be 8:30pm). Then walked down to First Church in court square for services, then to the spanish service at Christ Church and then the Midnight Mass there (Christ Church Cathedral). Then home to bed at 2am.

December 23, Monday, AD 2002     Work and Caroling in Lee, MA This is where you will find a report about the caroling that is to take place in Lee, Massachusetts this evening when I go up to be with the folks at St. George’s Episcopal Church there. I hope I can get down to the family homestead and get the large artifical tree and set it up at a family freind’s home that night. I put up some decorations, but they burnt out here and after the word on Eleanor Corser’s death, I just don’t feel like it. However Before I could get to Lee, a telephone call came saying that we would not be caroling as some of the choir was sick and they wanted folks to be able to sing for Christmas Eve. Sooooooooooooooo I got a ride up anyway and Alice Davis and I went caroling to a freind, Betty Wilber, that has been in the Fairview Mannor Rest/Nursing facility and will probably be there until after the holidays. Alice and I went over to my family homestead and got a tree and ornaments, then decorated it and placed it on alice's porch with a star in the window by the road..

December 22, Sunday, AD 2002     No Caroling, No Greening, Website Updated.

Well, a friend called me this morning, I had overslept, and took me to the 8 am service at St. David’s Episcopal Church in the Feeding Hills section of Agawam, where I thought I was to be a Lay Eucharistic Minister. Well I vested and someone else came in, but she was carrying the cross so we both went up and I sat in the Lector’s chair and she in the Acolyte’s chair. So I read the Scriptues and the Psalm, and th Prayers of the People and all. When it was time for the Eucharist the rector seved me and then gave the cup to her. I checked the bulletin as I was sitting and low and behold she was listed as the Lay Eucharistic Minister and I only as the Lector. So when we processed out I took the position of the Acolyte and carried the cross and extinguished th candles.

During the time between the 8 am service closing and the 10am service starting I got on the computer in the office that Kent Fernald Jr had “refurbished” and made work a lot smoother. I lauched their old copy of PageMill3 and blessings of God the altered first page or index page of the Saint David’s Episcopal church site was changed. It uploaded the entire site, but it changed it. I continued to try and work on thier “Announcements” page and the computer or the program crashed. Kent Fernald came by after the 10am service and checked my work. I stayed there during the “Greening” of the church and all I got was a polaroid (in poor quality) of the alter thus decorated. The point is that I was able to alter part of the Announcement page before Christmas and maybe I will need to travel to the church to update the website. Whatever works.

Tomorrow, Monday the 23rd, I will go to St. George’s in Lee, MA to carol with them. I am looking forward to this as I really need some joy after hearing of Eleanor’s death. I hope to also get to the family homestead and get a christmas tree for a friend and put it up at her house. Then I need to catch a ride back to work Tuesday Morning at the Bookstore. The College is NOT shutting down after all and we must work all the days before and after Christmas.

So tired, trying to sleep. God Bless you all this last week of Advent.

December 21, Saturday, AD 2002     No Caroling

I had expected to go to Hampen House Rest Home with a friend, but then I got a telephone message that he had been called away and I did not have the transportation from him. So I got on-line to find out what bus service the the Pioneer Valley Transit Authority had to Kendall Street. I got started about an hour and a half early and yet only got there about 20 min. before I was to lead som people in singing at the rest home. Just as I was to find out about the schedual I got the news over the TV that the Mother of my best friend in grammer school and High School days had been found frozen to death after a snow storm. I was devestated. This friend, Greg Corser, and I would play together most days as my Mother had a job of doing house work for a man who’s wife had died and to help in feedinng and such the children. I would go to her to work and would play with Gregg as the boys she was taking care of were older. Gregg was related to the people on the other side of the Farm House. One side was Mr. Howard Sheldon, where my Mother worked and the other side was Lynwood Corser, the one Greg was related to. Often we would also spend much time at Greg’s Mom’s house. We sometimes had a second breakfast as she often got dressed for the day and ate later than we did. Also she might make something for us after a hard hour or two making additions or changes to the Tree House we had built. An honest to goodnes tree hous folks, not this carpenter made stuff, just a few guys, some boards and old saw and some hammer and nails. I just wonder why we did not kill that tree with all the boards we drove into it.

The point of all of this is that the woman that was like a seceond Mother to me at many tmes is now gone. The Berkshire Eagle had the obituary news for Eleanor D. Corser printed on the Friday edition. I just could not sing after hearing this. I cried and cried and cried. Then I took the bus up to Hampden House but all I could do would be to talk with a few residents in the Activities Room and then when the girl-scouts came in I slipped out of the Nursing Home while they were caroling. I then went to Saint David’s Episcopal Church in Agawam and the Rector needed some help so I got to be the Lay Eucharistic Minister that day. I would return via a ride from my friend Wesley Carr, to lector at the 8am service. Someone gave me a ride back home and I just cried a bit more. I did not know how to get a hold of Greg. But by Sunday night I found the newspaper article and it had an e-mail link to send a message to the Corser family through the Finerty Funeral home in Great Barrington, MA and so I did just that.

I was so saddened that no one else came to sing carols. By Saturday night I did not have a telephone call or e-mail and so it looked like I would not even contact the folks at the Shriner’s children’s hospital as it lookes like no one but me to sing. I just don't have the energy. I keep thinking of Eleanor Corser, and Gregg, and memories of good and bad times and I am just without some joy to put in the carols.

December 19, Thursday, AD 2002     Caroling Comments

December 15, Sunday, AD 2002     Advent

December 8, Sunday, AD 2002     Advent

I have been a bit overwhelmed with the errors in website I put up for the family home in New Marlborough and what needs to be done to get it so I could return there, at least to die. And then there is work on the STCC Graphic Arts Technologies page and we hope that gets up by January 2003. This morning I did get up on tripod the proposed pages (for Advent) for St. George's Episcopal Church in Lee, MA. I was so tired I could not go to church down here. We did have a man at Saint David's last night that represented Richard Hooker, the theologian for the Anglican church in the 1500's so I did get to church. Before that I went to a program about Christmas at the Armory in days past and many former workers talked about what they did in times past and then we had an activity of making Christmas Tree ornaments, as had been done here (at the Springfield Armory) before. After getting the St. George's Advent pages up last night and this morning, I was so very exhausted. I had wanted to experience the weeks leading up to Christmas visiting an Orthodox church as well. So exhausted, so tired, might not get anything done. I was taken to the Surgeon's Friday, but he said to wait about 2 months to see about any dentures, the bone is not filling in correctly and I have a lot of sharp spikes in my jaw. Also I need to have the periodontal disease taken care of that manifested itself right after the surgery when I was advised not to brush my teeth. I had a visit from a fellow at church and will need to get my pledge card in soon, I fell down on the job of tithing and will soon try and report what I do get, spend, and how God blesses me. So tired, can't seem to sit up. I need to get back to bed and then try and get a computer to a lady that asked for one. It is one I got from the Police Department and this lady is handicapped and trying to study, so I will try and help her for a bit until she can save up enough money to buy a newer computer. It is so gray outside, looks like another storm. I also noticed troubles in the site I put up for the house I wanted to buy in Springfield and will try and fix them soon. I only have about a week or less off before I need to be back to work. I might not have the money for courses, but I do want to be in school. Things are so depressing. Thanks for your prayers. We hope to go Christmas Caroling after work and all next Saturday, if God provides enough people. I think I have spent $60 on this project already.

November 29, Friday, AD 2002      Post-Thanksgiving Thoughts

I have been a bit overwhelmed. I am getting very weak, daily. It looks like MassHealth will not pay for dentures and I do not have the money. I don't think I have the money for taxes in January, but a miracle can happen. The house I wanted to buy in Springfield has been sold to the second highest bidder and I am a bit depressed about that. I have put up a website about the family home in New Marlborough and what needs to be done to get it so I could return there, at least to die. Speaking of death, my close friend from the days at Worthington House was found dead in his apartment/house and had been dead for at least 10-14 days. He had just been on a fast, another good friend had said, but would not talk with or let anyone visit him. Now he is gone. The funeral for Bill Zimmerman is Saturday, November 30th, the last day in this month and the last day in this church year, Dec. 1st is Advent. This other friend (Wesley Carr) is quite sick and he is being told to move out of where he is living. A very good friend that was the minister at Clayton Church of God was ill and I wanted to come up and see him. But sometimes I was just to sick and then I had classes and work. Well I had made arrangements to visit him by getting up to see Alice Davis and she would bring me over. The time I was on the telephone with her making those plans, he had died and his wife was attempting to tell Sister Alice that Harold North had passed on. He will be cremated and I do not know when his memorial service will be. Another good friend that had been the Treasurer of the New Boston Congregational Church in Sandisfield, MA when I had tired to help lead the worship services there was put in a nursing home and I do not know if she will be able to get back to her apartment. I had furnished many things on loan from my Dad's house when Betty Wilbur had been kicked out of the place she was renting and lived for weeks in a hotel room. I want to visit with her and maybe go up with Alice Davis and clean up her apartment so that it will be nice when she returns there -- I am hoping she can come back to her home and her cat. Financial Aid has been refused for me as I have to many credits they say, and yet I am being told I need other courses in order to be hired. I am so tired of so many things. Maybe it is Seasonal Affective Syndrome or something else, but I just don't feel like fighting much any more. I do not know where I will get the money to do the four courses I am signed up for at college, but I feel that the college work seems to give me hope. I intend to try and do some over the Internet and some at night and only two in the daytime. I will try and work out the daily schedule so I can be in the Berkshires many days from Thursday night to Monday night. That way, if I am in Springfield Monday night through Thursday afternoon I can spend more time trying to work on the family home in New Marlborough MA. Some other things I need to get done are web page for a department at college and two honor societies and a club, maybe two as well as get together some caroling for the Christian Fellowship. Also I have a page to finish for Saint George's Episcopal Church, but I have none of the content and it is less than 36 hours until Advent starts, when we were to have the website up. I also am having some troubles ftping changes to the Saint David's Episcopal Church website and the site for the Valley Interface Macintosh Users Group. I did go down to the Springfield Rescue Mission for a Thanksgiving Dinner, but then turned around and came back without attempting to eat. The surgery took out all but 6 teeth, and now they are heavily rotted also. The surgeon must grind down my jawbone and there is some question as to whether I can support dentures. At any rate the social workers and welfare workers demanded that I drop my health insurance and sign-on with Mass Health--I did so and now MassHealth has dropped all support for dental work of the denture kind and glasses (eyes) so it looks like I will not be able to have dentures and just eat mush the rest of my life. I did go down to the Open Pantry Community Services Holiday Meal and talk with folks and help to keep the volunteer line moving. It was so nice to see so many faces there again helping this year. Many were new and Richard Neal, our local congressman was there helping again. I appreciate it so much when someone of that sort of stature in life is willing to come and get the gloves on and hand out plates of food to those homeless, hungry and needy people. I got a left over pumpkin pie and ate that for my Thanks-Giving. I just wonder if I could give up on eating and just take some vitamins and save money so I can put it into the family homestead or something. I know a tree has fallen down on at least one building there. I want to get rid of all but one old car that is on the property, but no titles to do so yet, we put them in the glove compartments when a junk yard was going to come and get them, and someone came and took them. I was elected as Gatekeeper of Stockbridge Grange, but then was to sick to go to installation. It is my intention to join the Independent Order of Odd Fellows here in Springfield, MA. I made an application to Amity Lodge # 172 and there is another Lodge, Springfield # 235 in town also. Maybe I could be accepted as a full member of one and an associate member of another? Also I would like to see a Grange started up again in Springfield, I am told there was one once. I work all day when I am not in school and often go home and am in bed by about 4:45 or 5pm. I am just to tired to even go down to the soup kitchen for food. But then they don't want me to grind it up there, so what do I do? If I can get there early in the morning I can get a breakfast 6 days a week at the Springfield Rescue Mission. However, with the narcolepsy I just can't go out in the morning as I only have about 2 hours to study for the whole day. I am so tired today, I may just rest up until Bill Zimmerman's funeral tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers. I am so sorry to wimp-out on folks, but I am so drained I just can't seem to do much of anything. I have just about given up hope for any sort of a solution that is not directed from heaven. God did bless us with a good Phi Theta Kappa Regional Leadership Conference at the college and they have held a Satellite Seminar and worked on various other things as well as making plans for a Dance Marathon to help children in need in the Spring. That just about wrap's up what has happened in the last 50 days or so since I wrote my shoes item in the column. I need to write a story for the college newspaper Monday, just as soon as the editor tells me what topics have already been reported on so I do not duplicate others efforts. We have exams and if I only had the $300 I would attempt to take the Networks+ and A+ certification exams. I still feel I should be going around the country starting prayer groups, regardless of what others have advised me.

Blessings,

Charlie

MA.

October 11, Friday, AD 2002

I write this in order to say please pray for me as I am having trouble dealing with all the nice gestures towards me.

Recently I found myself going to the Oral surgeon again and the person that took me wanted to have me at least stop by a shoe store on the way back, just to try out some shoes. We went to the oral surgeon and he said I was coming along well but felt also that I would be very worn out and to drop myself down to one class, the one I was strongest in so far. I don't want to do that, and I know I must pay for the course I am not going to continue in, but maybe it is a good idea. I have a new oral antibiotic to take, I just can't east until over 30 min. after I use this or it will stain the remaining 6-7 teeth. It looks like they are getting pitted and I fear decay on them as well.

We left the doctors early with prescriptions and so I did agree to just look at the show store. The lady said this was a discount shoe store anyway. While I was looking my friend talked with the sales lady. I saw I black pair I liked, but they smelled so much of some sort of a chemical I feared that they would not be able to take a sweaty foot. My feet have seemed to sweat a lot in the past and it especially bad it they can not “breath”, or so it seemed to me. I had on a pair of “Timberline” boots and I thought I would get another on just like them. The sales lady remarked that us me don't seem to want to try anything more new or fashionable than what we had before. I felt she was right, but I still wanted them. Well they did not have it in my size, the one they had was a little to small. My friend said we had to get a pair before we left. She said she would pay for it and the matter was settled. Another salesperson suggested a Dunham as it tends to be a little wider and that did fit. So we got the boots and we left. They put my boots in a box, but I asked for the box back. I got the shoes and wore them comfortably to work and college and I really appreciated the help in getting them. I was being required to go to meet with a counselor at the Massachusetts Rehabilitation Commission that day and so the lady agreed to take the box with her and bring it to work the next day. The next day, after work, I met someone that gave me some food and I put it in that box and a bag. That also “blew-me-away”, someone buying food for themselves and also for me. Probably over $30 worth of food so I did NOT need to go to the grocery store and I could eat well at home - even if it did take me about 30 min to “chew” my food before it every gets to my mouth. Again, I am used to having people complain, but lately folks have helped me, gotten things for me, in general I have received a level of support never found (in my eyes) before in my life. Thank you for praying for me as I attempt to try and deal with this. Everyone I my immediate family is now dead. This is like having “family members” I did not know of, that have now come to help me in a time when I really do need some help. I had wanted to marry someone at lest 5 times in my life. It is times like these that I really wish I had someone that I could just be with that I could “bear my soul” to. That is the nice thing about a marriage - there is someone to talk with. But then that someone could become just a “stone wall”, I am told.

At home, Wednesday, after I put all the nice food away I wondered about the boots and found out that they were called a “Dunham Fits” boot by the name of “WORK” with a color of “Wheat Ram” and a model number of 7766WH. I searched the Internet for a bit and then found the shoe and the Dunham ( I had a math teacher in Mt. Everett Regional High School by that name) shoe company is a part of the “New Balance” shoe company. It is a Christian company, and gives a portion of certain shoe sales to certain charities. Part of the sale of shoes called “pink-ribbon” shoes go to breast cancer. I was positively impressed to hear that as The American Cancer Society is the main charity to benefit from Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society activities this year, and a speaker will be with us at the New England Regional Phi Theta Kappa Leadership Conference to be held at Springfield Technical College October 18 and 19th. But then I saw the cost of the shoe. It cost her $115+ and I doubt if I have paid more than $15-19 dollars for a pair of shoes in the past 30 years if not back when I was in high school.

I ask for your prayers as I know I have been told it is wrong to feel this way, but I have been told by so many that I am not worth much, and then this display of respect for me as an individual. I am having difficulty trying to cope with this positive actions towards me. Thanks. If I feel well enough I might try and go down to the Springfield Rescume Mission for breakfast. They often have eggs or oatmeal and I can probably “gum” that down.

Sincerely

Charlie

Post Script
I am writing this Saturday morning, because I was to exhausted to write Friday night. I had hoped to catch a ride to the Berkshires and attend Stockbridge Grange where I would have been installed in the Office of “Gatekeeper” that night. I did not catch that ride, and by the time I had lugged all the stuff back up the 4 flights of stairs to my apartment I was so very tired. I called Alice Davis, the family friend I often stay with when visiting the family homestead area in the Berkshires and told her how I felt. Later I called the “Marshal” of the installing suite. I found out that the “State Grange Deputy Master” that was to have “installed” us as officers of Stockbridge Grange was also ill. I asked her to tell him to get well soon and that both he and I would reluctantly stay home. I hung up that phone at about 5:15 pm. The next thing I knew it was 9 pm. I rolled over and then it was 11:30 pm. Then it was about 1:00 am. I was so tired. I then got up on the computer to right this. Now, at about 1:45 am, I am tired again and will go back to bed. I am so exhausted. I will spend a good deal of time in bed. Maybe I can get well enough to try and come up Sunday Morning, but the money is just plain not there. Saturday morning is the 12 of October, and if I live that long, I turn 58 in 28 days. I am so disgusted with my weakness in my body. I used to do the work of many people, and now I am so worn out I can't seem to do the work of one person. Thank you for your prayers.

.

October 06, Sunday, AD 2002

I wanted to write this in order to say thank you to some very nice people that have helped me in the past.

Recently I found myself with sever pain and soon I could hardly function at the bookstore where I work at Springfield Technical Community College. Maybe you remember that I have been very poor and only had MassHealth for insurance. I was in dyer straights and was told that MassHealth would no longer cover dental items like this. I had come to Springfield to try and gain employment and had found I did not have the skills needed in today's job market. I became “homeless” and was soon sent to he dental service provided for such. This meant I normally would wait about 40 days for an appointment and then be scheduled for a “cleaning” in another 40 days or so and then in a third 40 day period they would examine me. Normally at that third time I would be told that the teeth had deteriorated so badly that there was nothing that was allowed to be done but extraction.

I tried to put this off as long as I could and have been chewing on “stubs” for teeth for months now. But on Thursday the 26th of September I could hide t he pain no longer. A coworker helped me with the money that the state would not pay for so I could see a dentist who sent me to an oral surgeon. I was then booked for an emergency hospital stay where my teeth would be extracted. All would be taken out on the upper jaw and the lower jaw only 6 would be left in. October 1st that co-worker drove me to the hospital as she had to the doctors offices. I was kind of lonely having no living family nearby. She stayed with me until I started to be wheeled into out of the preparation area and into the operating room. I want to say things but they injected a drug into the iv in my veins and I waved good-bye and then drifted off into NA-NA land.

I awoke about 4 hours or so after the surgery and was wheeled into a hospital room

I thought how blessed I was to have people call me and Wesley Carr and Steven Wine come up Tuesday night representing themselves and the Odd Fellows Amity Lodge # 172 to visit and tell me of arraignments that had been made for me when I got back home. If you click on the image of the hospital, the a window will appear that will have an image of dental surgery. Needless to say I was not all that excited about this procedure, but thankful that I had been “put-out” because the last 4 times I had tooth extractions were not pleasant times. The first three times I seemed to “go-away” to a place where there was bright white light and when I “came to” people had oxygen around me and were standing looking down at me. The third time they left me alone and I took my pulse and it was 30 while my skin was almost white. The 4th time some folks extracted my tooth as the first one they ever did and used another tooth for leverage. That destroyed the tooth under the expensive gold crown I had put in some 30 years ago and the pain from that tooth was what caused the need to come and have this work done. The words “teeth” under the revolving Dental Association Logo above will take you to a site that tells about teeth extractions. Almost as soon as I got back to my home Alice Davis from St. George's Episcopal Church in Lee, MA and Stockbridge Grange, Stockbridge, MA called to see how I was doing.

I got through Wednesday with out much difficulty, but the pain medicine seemed to “mess-up” my head. So I changed to another medicine that was not so strong. Thursday I could hardly breath and called the surgeon's office finally at about 3:30 pm Thursday night Wesley Carr and Steve Wine (Steve lives in the same building I do) came over with a box of soup and juices from Loaves and Fishes Soup Kitchen (part of Open Pantry Community Services). Oh how that was appreciated, as I had just ground up the last of the cans of food I had. I had bought at a time Wesley had brought me to a store called “savers” a small cup or two food processor by Black and Decker had been using that to “pre-chew” my cans of food.

I had just gotten on the computer Thursday, and seen some e-mail messages for the Dean of Students, my boss and workers at the bookstore, the president of our Phi Theta Kappa chapter, the Editor of the campus newspaper, and others. However at about 4:45 pm I blew my nose and all sorts of black stuff came out. Apparently the problem I have had with a large sinus area came into play and the blood from the extracted teeth flowed into that and other nasal cavities. I was blowing out the dried blood the nurse said. Friday was OK but still dull and the pain was there but not so great. I was “bored” with this business of being in bed. Sometimes I would get up on the computer to work on some web pages, like this one, but I still could not retain anything I tried to study in my head.

Saturday I went out of the room for the first time since I returned Wednesday morning and went to church at St. David's Episcopal Church. Wesley Carr brought me there and I brought my Black and Decker small food processor. After service we had a meal to invite new people to the congregation and I used that food processor so I could eat. I think Wess would have liked to have gone somewhere. We had often gone to Ames and checked out its bargains—especially with the bankruptcy sales. But I was very tired and came home to bed. I was so tire I could not sleep well. Saturday night Steve Wine came by with some salads and fine meats from Bob Maurice, another member of Amity Lodge #172( he had been working on a fancy “dinner” and had sent me these foods and pieces of cake). Bob normally does the cooking for the Holiday Meals that Open Pantry Community Service puts on. These are meals at Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter for those that would not have a very happy time otherwise. In the past 4 years I have volunteered helping the “traffic-flow” of volunteers as they bring food out to people and clean up afterwards at the Civic Center here in Springfield.

Just as had happened when the box of food from “Loaves and Fishes” came, I took and ground up the salad and cheese/ham rolls and put them away. But first I put them with some soup and had this delicious meal. Oh how good God had been to me during this time. The medicine was making me feel “funny” but I did rest some Saturday night. Sunday, I awoke and felt a little like studying, but before I could get a book out I was “UGH” again. As I am writing this,Sunday noontime, I went to a church service at Saint Michael's Roman Catholic Cathedral in Springfield at 4 pm. I was so glad to get back home to my apartment and bed at 5:45 pm It looks like some portions of teeth did not get extracted or broke off and they are coming to the surface. This is also very painful want to rest so I can study before going to work and to classes at college.

I have missed so much being away since Tuesday Morning. I want to thank you for your prayers and seek those continued prayers as I attempt to get better. I do need extra jobs from about 5 pm to maybe 8 or 9 pm. I know that is not a lot of hours, but I could do that some nights of the week and maybe help a bit to take care of these bills. After about 6-8 weeks of being without anything to chew stuff I will need to try and get some sort of dentures. It is so darned expensive trying to just live. Our Phi Theta Kappa honor society chapter is hosting the regional Phi Theta Kappa Leadership Conference for the New England region Oct. 18th and 19th at Springfield Technical Community College. I want to be a part of that activity as well, but with the weakened state I just can't do as much as I used to. On November 9th, assuming I live through then, I will become 58.

I do desire that people pray not only for my health and finances, but also that I clearly see what God wants me to do in life from this moment on. A long rambling thing, these comments. But I felt I needed to say "thank-you" to a lot of folks and to tell people how my “recovery” has been “progressing”. I also thank Marilynn and Bertie from work, Wesley Carr from church and the Lodge (I.O.O.F.), and Alice Davis from Grange (P. of H.) for those calls more than daily and the e-mails. I know I have forgotten someone, like the Shawn from the STCC Computer Club and Rich from the Valley Interface Macintosh Users Group, --- but right now my mind is on the body that is complaining a bit.

Blessings,

Charlie Knight